I feel naggy...

Productive day today! I went shopping with Callie (my lil sis) and got a bunch of yummy stuff! I got $40 worth of stuff at Bath & Body in my favorite scent, *Sensual Amber* and also got Seasons 1 & 2 of Sex and the City, my fave! I was starting to watch Season 1 but then Callie came in and lets just say....not quite appropriate for a 12 year old.

It was a very fulfilling day after being incredibly bored for the past two days. Although break is good and it is nice to be with my family and sit and relax without worrying about anything, it doesn't come quite as easily for me as for others. During school time I am constantly running between class, homework, 3 jobs, and several other organizations, not to mention friends and personal errands, to the point where I am micro-managing every minute of my day. So, I fear that relaxing is quite an adjustment for me. Unhealthy, I know, but I'm trying to work on it.

On another, rather negative note, sometimes I have such a hard time understanding "kids" my age. They try to pretend they are adults and have all this freedom to do whatever they want but yet, are so afraid to step outside of their boxes. For example, most think that 20 miles is a really long way to drive and feel as though they are losing something important if having to drive this far. How much does it even cost for that much gas these days? A dollar? Honestly. I didn't seem to find this problem when I lived in Illinois. Maybe it has something to do with people who have grown up in Wisconsin who are constantly hearing "There's nothing to do here" and they get stuck in the mindset that all they can do is sit on their asses, watch TV, play on their computers, text people sitting right across the room from them, and get sloshed every night! Ridiculousness.

I guess the reason I bring this up is because I am a bit peeved with some of my self-proclaimed "cool" girlfriends. This is my first time in my life really having a good group of girlfriends and this is exactly why. I don't usually like girls. They kind of annoy me. The way they nit-pick and chronically make fun of other people, talk behind people's backs, and cancel plans at the last minute! Ugh. So basically, I planned out this really great New Year's Eve Night including dinner, snacks, fun drinks, watching the ball drop, listening to the count-down, etc. right? And you would think people would be excited about this right? Wrong. Apparently girls my age think its cooler to get wasted at a disgusting house party and hang with guys who only have one thing mind. Oh well I guess. I don't know why I put in the effort.

I guess I'm in a ranting and raving mood tonight. I need something to do. Break is so boring.

On another topic, I am really feeling the lack in the boy department lately. I need a boyfriend. With school and everything else going on before, I didn't really notice, but now its hitting me hard. I miss having someone to flirt with and kiss and do fun stuff with. There is a cute boy I like at the moment...but sometimes its hard to see if they even know you exist you know? But its hard to know what to do though too! On one hand, I keep hearing "You need to assert yourself, your a desirable girl, guys are shy, etc." But at the same time you don't want to come off as desperate or weird. I like a guy to show a little interest, otherwise I feel like I'm trying to assert myself where I'm not wanted. And that's not a fun feeling. It may have to poor self-confidence but I just don't want to be that girl that people are nice to their face on not so nice behind their backs. I've seen it happen to too many nice people. However, I am trying hard to work on my confidence and self-esteem. I mean why wouldn't a guy want to date me? I'm smart, dedicated, funny, cute? So, If anyone knows any cute, funny, smart single guys between ages 20 and 30 let me know!

I'm off to bed now, I have more stuff to do tomorrow!
Night night!